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Writer's picturePepe Arteaga

Why I don't love myself?

Updated: Jan 15, 2023

The lack of self-love is the result of a constant disapproval of ourselves. Judging ourselves and feeling constantly judged are behaviors and thoughts learned during childhood.


In particular, I experienced a situation that in my opinion was complicated with my father, it would seem that he never believed in me, on several occasions I heard him say "you can never achieve this" or "you could never be that" but something different happened with me because the more he said it, the more desire I had to prove him wrong, maybe my dad did it with all the intention of biting my crest. Unfortunately I can't ask him anymore.


  • They feel continually evaluated and therefore afraid to talk to other people

  • They have difficulties identifying and/or recognizing their emotions and it is difficult for them to share them

  • They are never satisfied with themselves

  • They believe they have no control over their own lives

  • They feel that they cannot do anything right, that they are not going to achieve what they desire

  • They constantly judge, mistreat and blame themselves, unfortunately they are executioners and torturers of themselves

Looks pretty bad right? The good news is that like everything in life there is a solution and it is possible to live at the fullest. Please find a few tips below:


Every thought you think and every word you say draws a map. Your mind, your body and your psyche will then follow this map and makes it happen.

Let's imagine that someone you love very much falls and hits, what would you say? you would probably worry and when you see that it is okay you would laugh, right?


Now imagine that person accidentally touches a power cable and gets a small shock, enough to make them scream, what would you say?


What if that person was you?


Be very careful with the words you say to yourself, the brain learns what you say and then creates it for you. Be kind to yourself as well as to other people.


The mind learns by repetition

This is why the recordings we make in the therapy are so important. What does your mind learn when you constantly tell yourself you are an a... you are dumb? What do your children learn when you constantly put them down?


What if you told yourself and your kids otherwise? What do you think will happen?


The really important people

I saw this somewhere and I found it very interesting.

Let's do this exercise, you have 5 seconds to tell me the three most important people in your life. Ready?

Why aren't you on that list? Why do you leave yourself behind?


Sadly putting you at the end is more common than you think. If a boat is sinking and you want to save a person, what should you do first? In order to really help that other person, you must first be safe, right?


Dare to change your life!




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